After becoming a mother I felt my figurative heart grow
multiple sizes (picture the that scene at the end of the movie, “The Grinch Who
Stole Christmas”). My world in a way
became so much simpler; all while, in another way, becoming so beautifully
complicated. There lies simplicity while looking at my son, and in that moment having an overwhelming sense of what love is. Love in and of itself was meant to be
simple. It just is; there are no, “If
only you did this,” “If you weren’t
so that.” Love is unconditional. Within that one glance at my sweet child, I
know I am playing the role I’m supposed to embody. Knowing the importance of my
influence to this other human is empowering, terrifying, but overall there is
such joy in being aware of the fact that I get to be someone who tells him he is
precious, worthy, and so so loved.
This is being present.
This is what makes life worth while.
On another note, after the fog of being a mom to a newborn
began to lift, anxiety began to creep in.
My decisions are not just my own anymore. My decisions affect
people. People I love dearly. I allowed my mind to process information that
only served as a distraction. Thoughts
turned into worry; worry soon transitioning to doubt. My yoga teacher spoke of a friend of hers who once said, “I know worrying works. What I
worry about never happens.” It’s true! We often let the mind run wild while are
bodies then wreak the havoc (stress, aches, pains), all while the things we are
dwelling on hold no relevance or validity.
This is not being present. This is what makes life tiresome and a struggle.
Yoga has a great way of shifting the mind to stillness. It is a great reminder to shut out the
excess, the unimportant, and to let go of things we cannot control. I am not saying, do not care for those around
the world or don’t empathize with those outside of yourself that are hurting,
but I am saying DO NOT allow the mind to be cluttered. If the mind is noisy, life quickly can become
overwhelming.
Next time, before hitting the mat, think of
something/someone you or grateful for.
Perhaps turn the corners of your mouth slightly up, and
allow yourself to find stillness; it leads to now. It is
a choice.
Namaste.