Second Guessing

I had only been teaching a few weeks, but I was pleased with how things were going.  My goals initially were to bring something fresh to each class plan, and to somehow keep my voice calm and steady to hide the nerves I was feeling standing in front of unfamiliar faces.  Even being somewhat critical of myself, I knew I was doing my best, and was happy with the flow of the classes thus far.

Then IT happened.  I had just finished teaching for the night when a fellow employee popped in to say hello.   Before exited the room she casually mentioned how a gentlemen told her that I had been using the word “pubic” in my classroom and, “…I think she means pelvis?”  I’m sure my facial expression came off a little confused, and I quickly tried to think of what I might have said.  Throughout my classes I give cues for the students to better understand the actions happening within each of the poses. My response, “I might have said lift your pubic bone toward the ceiling?”  She laughed in my face, “There’s no such thing as a pubic bone!  Maybe you’re thinking of pubic hair.”  My cheeks turned pink.  “Well, there’s no way I said to lift your pubic hair! Was he uncomfortable?” My inner dialogue went wild. “Great, now I have a student that thought I was a pervert! There’s definitely a pubic bone, right? Have I been using the word pubic incorrectly my whole life? “ I wasn’t so certain.  Even with a somewhat extensive study of the human anatomy during yoga teacher training, my colleague’s confidence made me question the existence of the pubic bone, and although it wasn’t her intention, her comment changed the positive outlook I had on past classes.

I immediately called a friend after class, who kindly used the “all knowing” Google to confirm the presence of a pubic bone within the human body. Thank goodness, it was there!  We laughed over the incident, and I knew I could rest assured that the students in the classroom did not think I was a creep or incompetent for using the now infamous word “pubic.”

After looking back, it was somewhat unsettling to know I had allowed someone’s nonchalant comment to have the power to question what I knew to be true, and impacted the way I felt about myself.  This wasn’t a life-changing incident, and yes in my head the situation grew much bigger than it was or needed to be; however, don’t we all struggle with that? My words of encouragement to you (and a continuous reminder to myself) are not to be over critical of oneself.  Don’t take yourself to seriously, and approach everything with a sense of humor.  ESPECIALLY yoga J We can’t control much (i.e., what people say, other’s actions, etc…), but let’s work on what we can: our reactions, what we choose to meditate on, and how we treat others.

Namaste.